I watched a real gem of a film this weekend that I think you will really enjoy. On its own, it’s a fun, light story with great acting by Robert DiNiro and Anne Hathaway. What I love is how it demonstrates the “family nervous system” concept I’ve been talking about.
I’ll try not to spoil it too much for you, but if you want, go watch the film and read this afterward….I’ll wait. (Here’s the trailer)
The premise is that a retired, bored widower applies for a “Senior Intern” program at an internet women’s shopping site (played by DiNiro). There are the requisite generational jokes about younger people being very tech focused and DiNiro not knowing a lot about tech. Happily, they don’t beat the cliche to death.
Anne Hathaway plays the very “type A” founder of the website. Always in a rush, late for every meeting, quirky in her demands of staff. The whole office mirrors her high energy. Enter DiNiro, the one well regulated person.
DiNiro is calm, friendly and well organized. He immediately makes friends with the other interns and staff and quickly becomes a person the younger men go to for advice. The younger men are so used to relying on technology that they don’t easily connect face to face. DiNiro gently nudges them to connect face to face (building their capacity for true human connection).
Hathaway’s character resists having him around at first, but soon finds he has a calming effect. DiNiro is observant. Hathaway doesn’t like that at first either – it doesn’t feel safe. In time her trust grows and she becomes more regulated herself. (Can you spot the ways her system changes by the end?)
DiNiro’s calm spreads throughout the whole office – one well regulated system can do that! What makes it go even deeper is the way he holds space for Hathaway – supportive, accepting and present. I can imagine her developmental trauma being greatly soothed by him.
See it in action – notice DiNiro’s well regulated system and how it spreads to all the dysregulated systems around. Tell me what you think in the comments.
Here’s a video I made about the family nervous system concept.
Enjoy!
