Building regulation and resilience is a practice of connecting to yourself

These exercises give you a starting point to find different ways to connect with your body and practice down regulating. Down regulation often feels like relaxation, but it can also feel rested and alert.

Many people have a hard time with practices of meditation, mindfulness, breath work, and other methods designed to increase relaxation and decrease stress. If you’ve found these things don’t work for you (as presented) or they make you uncomfortable, there’s probably a good reason. There is no formula for supporting a dysregulated nervous system. What works for a lot of people might not work for you. The key is to attune to what feels right for you and as you tread lightly into new experiences of feeling yourself, you might be able to explore other practices more deeply.

For each of these exercises (and any other practice you might explore):

1. Commit to stopping if it feels uncomfortable. Plan A is to pause for a few minutes and see if it feels right to resume. Plan B is to stop, distract yourself and try again another day.
2. After you try the exercise, take a moment to see what it did for you. If it was relaxing, pay attention to signals in your body that indicate a pleasant change (just for a few seconds).

Breath Reset (2:04)

This exercise is about finding your own rhythm. Do not force or hold your breath. Notice what your breath wants to do and let it do that. Lengthening your exhalation can be helpful for relaxation. Contraindication: if you become light headed or short of breath, stop and go back to your regular breath.

Breathing Exercise (3:56)

This exercise is common in yoga. Here, you are creating a rhythm and focusing your concentration. Use a count that feels good – I’m using 4, but you can use 1 or 2, or even increase to 8 or 16 over time, depending on how it feels.

Patience Meditation (7:22)

This guided meditation helps give us perspective about life by zooming out from the intensity of life.

Quick Body Check In (3:52)

Create a regular habit of noticing how you are doing and responding to what your body tells you.

Compassionate Friend (3:03)

Many people have a harsh inner voice that can keep them locked in trauma, anxiety and shame. What if we had another voice inside that was more kind and compassionate?   Building this slowly can help.

Regulation Vacation–Join Me?

When you really slow down, that’s when it’s easier to hear signals from your body that tell you what it wants. Slow down with me for a minute and see what you notice. If nothing else, you can borrow from my calm.