If you’re an Outlander fan like I am, and you’re avidly watching the series on STARS, you might be concerned about Episode 15, Wentworth, particularly if you are a survivor of sexual trauma. Diana didn’t hold anything back when she wrote it, and has said she believes it’s part of what bonds Claire and Jamie together for a lifetime. You may feel a pull to watch, but a dread of how it will stir up your personal history.
Here are 10 ideas you can pick from to help you manage if you decide to watch.
[UPDATE: Now that the episode has aired, another tip would be to read the synopsis first so that you have a better idea of what’s coming. You may want to follow the tips below even when you read it! Here’s a link to a synopsis Diana Gabaldon posted on Facebook.]
- Try to watch with a supportive other. Should they sit next to you and hold your hand or give you a little room? The ideal person will be flexible, quiet and non-judgmental. Don’t watch with friends who are not sensitive if they won’t be willing to take your lead.
- Watch it on demand or record it. Give yourself permission to stop frequently and resume when you feel calm. Perhaps do something physical to discharge the energy (take a walk, wash dishes, anything…). You might continue tomorrow or next week – you decide.
- Turn the volume low. Keep the remote handy. Loud noise tends to be overstimulating.
- Check out your surroundings – notice you’re in a safe space in present time (your brain will want to think you’re in the past trauma). Touch, feel, connect with the present.
- Consider watching it in the daytime – you might not want to face going to bed if you’ve been stirred up.
- Don’t judge yourself for having responses, but try to keep them from getting too big. Other people will minimize or not understand your response, but it is real and personal.
- Engage your rational brain. You can’t think your way out of trauma (it’s a physiological experience), but you can recruit your thoughts to remind you that what you are seeing on screen is different from your experience, that it is not real, etc.
- If you get stuck in disturbing thoughts and images, find a good distraction. Replace flashback images, sounds and thoughts with something really light and fluffy – an audio book, movie, or anything predictably easy to engage with.
- Try a moderate weight on your lap. A cat, dog or heavy blanket might help you feel more grounded.
- Find a competent trauma therapist who can help the physiological experience move through, so that it is not re-triggered over and over. Traumahealing.com has a list of people all over the US and international. My office is in Mountain View, CA.
As a professional trauma therapist, I’ve always been very delighted by the accuracy of how Diana writes trauma – physiological symptoms, flashbacks, shock, and coming back into connection with others. Remember Jamie and Claire get through their trauma, and you will too.
Best wishes on your healing journey,
